We've all heard the saying, "you can't love two people at once," but what if it's actually possible? Have you ever found yourself caught between two very different people, each making you feel special in their own way?

It's a situation that may seem impossible, but psychology suggests that it's more common than we think.

One of the main reasons this happens is because we all have different "love stories" we are trying to live out. Think about it: we are constantly searching for someone who fits the narrative we've built around love, shaped by our past experiences, fantasies, and desires. Sometimes, one person fits one part of that story, and another person fits another. In essence, you're not just falling in love with two people; you're falling in love with the stories you've created around them.

The Role of Our Personal Love Stories

So, why does this happen? It all comes down to our internal stories about love. These stories aren't just random ideas in our heads – they are deeply rooted in our early life experiences, relationships with family members, and the way we've been taught to understand love. For instance, some people might have grown up believing that love should feel like a fairy tale, with a passionate romance that sweeps them off their feet. Others might see love as a nurturing partnership that needs constant care and attention, almost like tending to a garden.

When we meet someone, we often unconsciously ask ourselves: "Does this person fit into my story of love?" If they do, we start to imagine a future with them, filled with the love we've always envisioned. But what happens when someone else comes along who fits another part of the story we've been telling ourselves?

The Stories We Tell Ourselves About Love

According to psychologist Robert Sternberg, love is a narrative. It's not just about the physical attraction or the emotional connection – it's about how we construct the meaning of that relationship in our minds. Sternberg's famous "Love Triangle Theory" suggests that love is made up of three components: intimacy (emotional closeness), passion (physical attraction), and commitment (the decision to stay). The mix of these three components creates the various kinds of love we experience.

Now, imagine that one person gives us the intimacy we crave, while another sparks the passion we've always longed for. As we navigate these relationships, we might find ourselves pulled in two different directions because, subconsciously, both people fulfill different parts of our love story.

The Danger of Chasing the Perfect Love Story

This isn't to say that every romantic relationship must have multiple people involved, but it does explain why some people find themselves attracted to more than one person at the same time. Our "perfect love story" can evolve and change, and sometimes, we get caught up in the idea of finding someone who fulfills every role we imagine love should have. Unfortunately, that's not always possible – no one is perfect, and no relationship is without flaws.

But here's the thing: If we focus solely on finding that ideal version of love, we might overlook what's right in front of us. Sometimes, we fail to recognize the value of the relationship we're in because we're too busy searching for a story that doesn't exist in real life.

Understanding Our Own Love Stories

If you find yourself falling for two people at once, it might be a good time to reflect on the stories you've been telling yourself. What are you really searching for in love? Are you looking for someone who fits into a fairy tale narrative? Or are you looking for someone who challenges you and helps you grow? Recognizing your own needs and understanding the kind of love story you're trying to live can help you make sense of your feelings.

In the end, love is about connection and understanding. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about what you're looking for and whether the relationships you're in truly align with that vision. If you're caught between two people, it's a good idea to take a step back and think about which relationship fits best with your true story of love – not just the fantasy you've built in your mind.

Lykkers, it's important to understand that love is rarely as simple as we think. We may find ourselves drawn to more than one person at different times, but the key is to explore these feelings with honesty and clarity. By understanding the stories we're telling ourselves about love, we can better navigate our relationships and find what truly fulfills us.

So next time you feel torn between two people, ask yourself: what does this person bring to my love story? The answer might just help you understand your heart better.